“tricorn hats and dirty old yanks” review by LethargicRegulator
Title: tricorn hats and dirty old yanks
Author: FailureArtist
Published: 1/7/12
Pairing: Dualscar (unrequited to the Condesce)
Tags: Masturbation, handwriting fetish, erotomania
Review under tab. (if the tab would work)
Unrequited romance is a common theme in Homestuck relationships. The very real possibility that someone you like doesn’t return your feelings or that relationships don’t always stand the test of time are very real concepts that make Homestuck hit home so much more. Unfortunately, this is a notion too often lost in the fandom. The only exception is how people often write about Eridan’s character. I find this a tragic loss as I have a very deep respect for his character and resolve. But I digress. Another readily accepted tragedy is Dualscar’s feelings for Her Imperious Condescension. Sadly this is a highly overlooked concept. Finding it is rare but always a pleasure.
The story of the ancestors is a highly linear and thus under-explored area of the Homestuck timeline. I really like the idea of Dualscar and so I’m sad I don’t see him, in the little ancestor fanfiction available, more often. Dualscar is a highly complex troll battling between feelings of self importance and how his life doesn’t necessarily reflect that high esteem. His unrequited feelings the Condesce cast shadows of doubt in his quadrants and lead him to be highly possessive and afraid for (and of) Mindfang. Personally, I find that Dualscar is a bit more like Eridan than even I want to admit. My headcannon dictates that the idea of quadrants is a concept thought up by high-blood society as an elitist status symbol. Given how highly Dualscar thinks of himself and the Empire, I believe the concept of quadrants runs a lot deeper in him than his actual feelings. He allows his fear and despair over his unrequited flushed quadrant to guide his decisions in ruining Mindfang’s own red relationships. In her journals she even states that Dualscar’s actions go far beyond black solicitation. I interpret this to be a sort of borderline psychosis in his character (which matches up with the cannon that higher-bloods are more and more unstable). So, the question then is, how far do Dualscar’s feelings for the Empress go and how much does he act on them.
IN introduced me to “tricorn hats and dirty old yanks” by FailureArtist about a month ago. It was short, not a lot of people had read it, and it had a very odd tag (handwriting fetish). Skeptical, I still gave it a read. I’ve never stopped not regretting having read it. I admit that on the first read through I wasn’t sure if the author was an idiot or attempting a subtle dry humour. Luckily I guessed correctly. This fic is brilliant.
The story focuses on Dualscar in his private quarters. He’s pouring over a very cleverly designed metal scroll from the Empress. He studies how it’s written and in particular the signature, noting subtle instances we as the reader have to call into question. How much of this is real and how much of this is interpreted by Dualscar? The story goes on and as it does we plunge deeper and deeper into Dualscar’s insane feelings. His thoughts are interlaced with a masturbation scene (which has been timed to be most convenient for the Condesce because “…This was why he always timed his sessions for when she was most likely to be alone. He did not want to embarrass her.”), giving the reader a very real-time interpretation of what’s happening. Dualscar rants on and on about all these little things the Condesce does for him through this letter. And it’s at this point I began seriously questioning how serious the author was. But then we get this line, “They had a love so secret she didn’t even know about it,” and we know Dualscar’s just crazy.
The way this is written is just so subtle, but that’s why it’s genius. Too much humor in fanfiction is very in-your-face; it just doesn’t take the reader seriously. This fic maybe takes us a little too seriously, but it’s so great that I can overlook my original skepticism. It’s refreshing to see this style of comedy in a fanfic. Unfortunately, there isn’t all praise. There’s more grammatical errors than I care for. The writing style itself is also a bit off. This may be a personal preference, but when a story is not very action-packed or dialogue-heavy it needs something to keep the reader’s attention. This can be through the very flowery language of an omniscient narrator or by writing in the present tense. Unfortunately the past-tense used in this fic makes the story feel a little uninteresting.
Nit-picking aside, there’s so much that works in this story. Small concepts like the makeshift bucket, troll biology (dick girls rule), and the metal scroll are just little flashes of genius I’d love to see more of. The overall concept I hope will lead more ancestor fic writers to explore Dualscar’s character on the whole. This is a great gateway fic to a larger concept. It takes only five minutes to read so I highly recommend it. It doesn’t take much time out of your day and I sincerely doubt you’ll regret reading it.
—Review by lethargicRegulator 2/12/12
